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| ooops something has occured |
| 12.30.03 (10:26 pm) [edit] |
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ok i have possibily got my self into something here ok if i was way into anders and kinda pissed at the hessian last week and having trouble with the redheaded mistress ... but now i "could possibly fall for the redheaded mistress if things were persued" and "kinda want to date the hessian and find out[if we would be ok together]" so if these two girls i could possibly see myself with find ouut that i told both it could suck ... on the other hand i could get sex from one and love from the other :twisted: ... unlikely... and the right thing to do would be to to stop both situations... and hang out next semester ... ok because if i was going to start anything with the hessian i need to graduate first and stuff but with the red mistress she will be leavinng andd stuff just the same eventually i may find the right girl if i am not with either but if i am ... well it is all playing chicken isnt it ... either way i shouldd wait a while for each to find out what is going on ... and see both are smart and dont wanna fuck up ... is it likely that the red head will be up for play and will the hessian be looking for commitment before cuddling a bit... :? this is all just so messed up ... i shouldnt be in a hurry ... to get anything started ... maybe i will have more thoughts later
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| no contact |
| 12.29.03 (8:28 pm) [edit] |
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if miss anders doesnt talk to me should i be upset with her when she gets upset if i dont call or talk to her i mean we're sorta friends .... granted i really shouldnt talk to her now ... oh well
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| friendship |
| 12.28.03 (9:44 pm) [edit] |
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is it really a friendship if all i want is sex and adorablenness.. should i really hang inthere ... cuz her best friend gets on my nerves.... and i really dont have a hope for this one ... is it still a friendship ... can i deal with that ... we will have to see i guess... she sees a friendship i dont know... you know she says she tries not to do anything that riles me up or if i tell her that is too sexy or anything ... so she doesntt want me that way ... but she allows so much ... why ... if she tries not to be cute or sommething yet she allows a physicall nature... what is the deal ... ... ohwell ranting ... and bed time
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| so i guess |
| 12.28.03 (9:41 pm) [edit] |
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well what is the deal here did i really read into all she did this past semester too much ... or what ... i mean what is teh deal ... she let me put my hand on her leg ffor so lonng or anything arm around her what ever ... granted we didnnt discuss anything ... i ddont know i guess that is it ... she just ... platonic friends... chris rock talks about this ... it cracks me up ... really it does any way ... i guess i will chill and hang out till it all comes out in the wash ...
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| random thoughts |
| 12.27.03 (11:17 pm) [edit] |
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after an extensive IM convo discussinng a wide range of things the with redheaded mistress it comes back to mme to ask how she finishes things ... i wonder this cuz way the heck a long time ago she told me she does but keept teh part about how ... so i am forever curious oh well :roll:
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| junior high |
| 12.27.03 (10:10 pm) [edit] |
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ok that just sounded junnior high-ish and i am 23 so it is like this ... the dearest friend of mine i have had a crush on for the longest time just informed me, or us, in her online diary that she and this guy shauni didnt discuss their relationship last night... well i didnt know they had one ... and i have wanted for so long to be a part of her feelings and emotions... yet she gives me the wierdest signals if i take the opportunity to lay my hand on her leg like it meant something and she didnt stop it why didnt she if she was .. "with" or not with this other guy but had feelings for him ... ok now i am having wierd emotions i havennt in a while ... for so lonng i have tried to be this way strong male who is all tough and shit and only driven by sex but recently i have wanted to be more in her life and yet less ... see i ffeel tied down as her friend cuz we communicate all the time ... all the time yet i love it and cant be more in her life ... i dont know ... i now feel like the best friend who suffers ... i dont know this is newish ... no relationships in a while ...
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| i knew she liked him damn it |
| 12.27.03 (9:27 pm) [edit] |
so my favorite best friend... miss anders... just mentioned in another blog type service that she ... "didnt discu.... hold on let mee find it ... these are the first clues... "give me my Christmas present"... it was really cute!... until the store closed. ... and the big hooorah of the night is ... we both steered tactfully away from discussing "our relationship" all evening. i think we were both having fun and didnt want things to get really serious tonight. hm. i dont know. not gonna stress about it.
i knew she liked him ... ok this is queer ... but i had to get that of my chestt ... to bad i like hers... she does have a nice chest... any way ... i think her best friend ... the Hessian will be severly pissed... anyway... you have fun ... and i will go cry ... about the hiddeousness of this ... ... of course this isnt politics what is this catagory thing it sucks
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| new this my first entry |
| 12.25.03 (6:56 pm) [edit] |
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hey guys i amm here in colorado hanginng out till scchool starts in a week or two i will really start this thing then i have a lot of crap to post and stuff when i get back :)
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| new this my first entry |
| 12.25.03 (6:55 pm) [edit] |
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hey guys i amm here in colorado hanginng out till scchool starts in a week or two i will really start this thing then i have a lot of crap to post and stuff when i get back :)
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